Hello ladies and dad! I just wanted to pop in here, screw off the top of my brain and hand you a magnifying glass. I do a lot of thinking, reading, planning, praying and talking about my life and my goals. I am the type of person who loves to be working on something. And I’m constantly thinking about my “things” of the moment.
Last August I began my journey of realizing my dreams as a writer. I started this blog, which I love. But somewhere along the way I told myself that if I wasn’t instantly followed by thousands and earning extra cash that I shouldn’t be doing this blog. So I began to drift away from the blog and go back to working on my novel. There is money in publishing, so I thought that it was the road that I needed to follow.
I also have a love/hate relationship with social media. I have convinced myself that I need a large following in order to have women read my blog, but the whole Instagram game is exhausting. There is a constant unfollow/follow game. There is so much advice about creating a beautiful grid; which frankly stresses me out. I can’t take pretty pictures daily. I can’t limit myself to 3 key colors. My life is happening in a variety of colors and textures. I am attempting to learn how to become ok with little to no growth; many of those followers will never read my blog anyway; not unless I publish a novel!!! Do you see what it’s like to be inside of my head?
With growing frustrations with the blog and social media, I set a new batch of goals all related to my novel. I outlined a plan for a non-fiction book as well. I began to work on daily writing. And guess what? I just don’t want to. Not often anyway. At the end of the day I’d much rather curl up in bed with a book to read, instead of curl up with my laptop to write. I like my book. I think it’s off to a great start. I want to publish a book. I want to feel the success of a completed draft. I want people to read it. BUT, I don’t feel like writing it as often as I feel like writing this. I want it to be over, but with the blog I had genuine interest with every week.
I have had to really talk to myself about this. I enjoy this blog. I think some people enjoy reading it. Every time I get a positive comment my cup is filled. And as a full time working mother of three, I want to enjoy what I am doing in my free time. So I’m circling back around. The novel is a someday. The blog is now. And I don’t have to gain notoriety or earn money in order for the experience to be successful.
Do you need that message in your life? Is there something that you love doing that you have talked yourself out of? Take it from me, who is finally learning this lesson. You don’t have to make money off of something, or become famous at that thing, in order to do it. We should do what brings us joy? My sister-in-law is a master baker. She bakes the cutest-most-delicious cakes and cookies. I used to always tell her that she should start a business. She was never interested. For her turning her love of baking into a business would take away her joy.
I needed to let that sink to heart earlier. Of course I would love to earn an income from writing, but that would just be the bonus. That is not the purpose, and does not determine my worth. Nor should it determine yours. Do you love to paint? Then do it. Do you have a dream to sell needlepoint at craft fairs? Do it; even if you only sell 2. If you want to take an adult ballet class, then do so. Audition for community theater without expecting a Tony Award.
I think these excuses and expectations are just fears. Make a plan to start. Make a plan to continue. Make a plan to finish. Do it for yourself. Chase that dream sister. (and dad.)
That means that you should expect to see my posts weekly again. If you want to follow my blog, I would love it. If you want to share my blog with others I would love that too. But I’m going to keep doing what I love either way.
Thanks for your ear!